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Hello from SE London

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Hello from SE London

Post  caroline wilson on Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:18 pm

HI, I'm new here and would like to intrduce my self.

I am 50, and was diagnosed type 2 over 2 years ago. My dad and one of my uncles are also type 2.

I have been married 26 years have a grown up son of 22 and an adopted son of 4.

I'm looking for support and also hope to give support and make friends too. Very Happy Like a Star @ heaven

caroline wilson

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Re: Hello from SE London

Post  Imogen on Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:23 pm

Hi Caroline
(Sorry, I deleted the quoted post, I hope that was OK)...

WELCOME to the board. Very Happy Its great that there are a few more people here now - it was feeling a little lonely for a while there.

I am adopted (when I was a baby in 1969) so good for you for adopting another little one. Can you tell me what age your 4 year old came to you and how you are finding being a parent again after a few years break? Smile

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Re: Hello from SE London

Post  caroline wilson on Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:31 pm

Matthew came to us in March 2007, so was two and a half. The story in brief: We have known matthews mum for about 18 years (my big boy [now 22] and her eldest were at nurserty together). We kept loosly in touch through many moves and her having 6 more children. Matthew is the youngest. In 2006 she was involoved in a very bad car accident. Her other little boy and another child were killed. Social services intervened and said mum was not emotionally fit to look after the baby and he was taken into care. None of her family was willing to help, so my husband and I said we would adopt Matthew. We went through all kinds of checks and assesments (including how well I cook and our knowledge of nutirion). We had contacts with Matthew and weekend sleep overs for him to get to know us and for us to get to know him.

The socail workers were worried about how well Matthew and I would bond, but we have bonded better than I could ever have hoped for and everyone thinks he's mine or my sons little boy. Matthew and my son look very alike.

It feels brilliant being mum all over again, and I couldn't wishe for a happier healthier more loving little boy. Because he had so much upheaveal he has not been out of nappies for very long and language devlopment is late. We are currently under the community pediatrician and the speech and language therapy team. All can see good progress being made.

We did have a supervision order saying socail services would keep an eye on us for a year, that ended in March.

This is one of the most stresful things I have ever done, but because I can see a positive change, and Matthew has brought us a lot of love and joy, if I had room I'd do it all over again. It would be nice for Matthew to have a brother or sister near his age to grow up with, and it is great giving a child love and stability.

This is a bit more than you asked for, but perhaps it will help others who want to make the same choice. I love being mum.

caroline wilson

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Re: Hello from SE London

Post  Clare on Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:52 pm

I have the greatest of respect for families that adopt/foster, especially when the child in question has emotional/physical differences.
It's hard to say what I want to without sounding patronising, but well done to you and your family....You're officially my hero of the week Smile
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Re: Hello from SE London

Post  Imogen on Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:33 pm

I agree with Clare - it cannot have been easy but all power to you all. My Mum says when they adopted my brother and I - that first year with each of us was hell as they felt they were being scrutinised so much (which is obviously only to cover themselves as the rest of us can spawn without comment!). Does Matthew see his birth mum? I have found it very hard over the years to come to terms with (if I actually have come to terms with it!!!) the fact that my Mum may be out there and thinking of me but we have no comment. I think of her often. However, Nathan (my Bro) and I were babes when being adopted so it's only something that's cropped up since we were older... Although we always knew we were "chosen". It's a whole can of worms - the emotions that adoptees feel - if you need my opinion on the matter ever.... please don't hesitate to ask anything. Smile

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Re: Hello from SE London

Post  caroline wilson on Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:35 pm

Yes Matthew sees his birth mum every six weeks, and has regular phone calls. There are also sisters that we try to keep in contact with too. When there is a special occaison like a birthday or Easter, or Christmas we try to fit in an extra contact.

Since Matthew and I have developed a close bond, I find it quite hard when birth mum has contact, and I am sure she finds it hard too.

As things have been quite traumatic for him Matthew, he needs stability. The first year with regular visits from the social worker wasn't too bad. I knew it would happen. We are still under the wing of the health visitor and the community peadiatrician, but they are less obtrusive than the social worker. I am happy to be watched, as it is a back up for me in the event I need any advice or help.

We had to disclose any long term medical conditions we have when going through hoops of fire and the social worker said would I stop Matthew having sweets. While I have a bowl of fruit on the dinning table for everyone, I would not stop Matthew having a sweet treat after dinner...

There are a lot of things to tell and this forum is helping. I'm glad we wnet through with the adoption and it is wonderfull having Matthew here with us. If any one else wants to adopt and they are confident in their relationship withtheir partner, go for it. It is very rewarding.

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